Question Meme

[connectivity]

Give me your questions, whether it's about CR or threads or anything really and you will receive ramblings about them!

I will leave this open indefinitely so come at me.

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[madasa]

CR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[connectivity]

INHALES....!!!

Alright so Break!!! Number one roller coaster ride the moment she stepped out the door. So much happened so quickly that she still feels quite dazed and confused. The whole thing caused her to drop her guard and brain cells and she has had time to recover in bits and pieces in between but never fully recovered.

BUT LET US START FROM THE BOTTOM

On the very base level she is just so so so very happy that he's been given this time. Knowing that he wanted to live at the very end killed her so to know that he has this time, no matter how long, is something she cannot be more grateful for. And more so that she and Reim get to be here with him for it. Her dearest wish for him is that he gets to live unhindered by all the horrible bullshit that he chained himself down with before and enjoys it to the fullest for himself.

For her, though it has been years since that time, she never once really got over him or stopped thinking of him every day. So even though she very much moved forward in life, she never really moved on from him. Those feelings just stayed there and she found someone who was willing to accept that and let her just Add on to it. Which leads her to just how very blessed she feels to have both of them. She very much would have been happy just being allowed to live alongside the two of them here.

But that's where we go back to everything happening and zero recovery! Because it all happened so fast there is a level of flustered that exists and continues to exist that just leads to her saying and doing stupid things. Starting with the confession. IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED THAT. Because obviously deep down it has always been apparent to her who his first love was and she's always known that even if he did ever see her-- she would always have to fear whether or not it was really "her" he was seeing or just. The shadow of her mom.

Which is why even now the fact that he accepted those feelings feels like a strange fairy tale that could not possibly be her life. And yet she gets to spend every day getting kisses and being cuddled sweetly and she's so overwhelmed in the best way. In a funny she could not tell anyone what their relationship was even if they weren't being more discreet about it. Mentally she herself has already put her admission that she has always wished to marry him straight into the garbage-- out of sight out of mind so she does not have to live in embarrassment of herself every day.

Which only means if it ever resurfaces she will just immediately perish and be completely thrown off guard AGAIN even if it is her own stupid fault.

She just loves him a lot in a really pure and stupid kind of way. She's just!! So enamored!! With this dumbass!! Who ironically makes her act equally stupid smdh. Having to admit that she did have several fractions of jealousy in Roy's direction kills her because it's very unlike her. Like she admitted to Roy that she was jealous that they slept together at first but specifically because she didn't have that experience with him of her own. And then that happened and the jealousy was in fact neatly obliterated from space because now she has her own thing with him so therefore Break's things with other people no longer matter because these special experiences belong to them and that's all that matters.

Of course a part of her does, in the back of her mind, always feel that lingering dread of like. When she's going to lose him. But she's taken that as every reason to just. Not let go and selfishly enjoy every moment she has.

GOD. OKAY I THINK I'M DONE you're free at last